When The Body Speaks In Pain

My patient S.N. (not her real name) has a big trip coming up. A “pilgrimage”, she calls it. Visiting the lands of her upbringing after a long time away, and sharing these places with her adult daughter for the first time. This journey is destined to be full of so many emotions, a complex layer of excitement, joy, grief, fear….

And then, in the midst of travel logistics, her leg starts hurting. Walking even shorter distances is tough. Driving in a car, whoa!

She’s tried regular chiropractic appointments, physical therapy, massage, and nothing has shifted. She’s starting to feel very worried about how this discomfort will affect her trip. 

During our session together, we take a moment to pause and really notice her body. Within that space and time of connection the pain clarifies. The discomfort focuses in her psoas (one of our main low back and hip bending muscles that’s an important stabilizer for our alignment). 

Together we follow her body’s story, the tightening spasm of her psoas, the words that come from her as she stays present with the pain with curiosity. 

We talk to her psoas, letting her (we learned that S.N.’s psoas prefers she/her pronouns) know that we see how hard she is working, trying to hold everything together, trying to find stability amidst a time of transition and grief. 

Her psoas starts to let go. The spasm releases, and the pain is gone.

This was not a fix, because she isn’t broken. 

This was an opportunity to start to build a relationship with a loud body part asking for tending.

Her psoas was asking for acknowledgement, connection, gratitude and the opportunity to build a relationship based in curiosity and collaboration. A relationship that can grow into a deep and honest feeling of trust. 

I have spoken about how our medical system and culture separate us from our bodies’ wisdom and prioritize fear rather than nurturing the possibility of trust in our innate healing ability. 

What if we actually believed that healing is a natural act? 

• Knowing that our bodies are part of us, an important and essential part. 

• Trusting that our bodies want us to thrive. 

• Recognizing body communications (“symptoms”) as your body’s way of calling you home.

You may say, Kaeri, I am so far from believing those statements! 

Please know that I am in no way asking you to gaslight yourself; saying things you don’t believe and feeling shame when you don’t immediately trust. 

I know that developing that trust, knowledge and recognition takes time. Just like relationship building with other people starts with saying hello and getting to know each other, building a relationship of trust and collaboration with our bodies requires curiosity, patience and understanding. 

Our bodies need us to start by noticing with curiosity, acknowledging the care they offer, and, when we are honestly able to do so, giving them appreciation and gratitude. 

My six-month program Your Body is Yours to Know offers a framework and approach to healing that centers our whole bodies and body wisdom. We connect with a spaciousness not available in most medical appointments, holding time for playful body connection, anatomy learning and lots of questions. 

To support our conversation and help offer a more easeful understanding of our bodies we explore our body through 6 systems. Nourishment, Oxygenation, Communication, Movement, Clearing and Protection. 

These system names are not the ones I learned in medical school, nor are they what you’ve likely heard during your medical system experiences. These names are based on the supportive function, the way these body parts and components are moving our full selves towards healing and health. 

Each series is co-created to explore the parts and topics that are important to the group. Whether or not you’re able to join us for this cohort, I’d love to hear from you!

What body part(s) are you most curious about?